Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
