I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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