i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I could fuck to npr.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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