Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
