this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
