so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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