a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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