Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
PANTIES FOUND
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
