I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
It's blow job season.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize