it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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