VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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