i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
