Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
