I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
