70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize