Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
