well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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