My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Still dying that you shit outside
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
