A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize