Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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