"it" just moved
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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