Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
