Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
