So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Randomize
