The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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