i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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