remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
