corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He did a backflip because drugs
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
