Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
