Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Its about making memories worth repressing
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
