Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
The police scanner is talking about you again....
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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