I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
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get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
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You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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