yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
