May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
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