The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
