Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
