she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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