All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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