i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Randomize
