Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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