my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
we're chasing vodka with high fives
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
