Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
