Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
