East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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