if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.