I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize