Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
