ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
