This girl is more easily done than said...
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
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