The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
