apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
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