it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
