dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
