if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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