Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
please come you make the beer taste better
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
