just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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