I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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