After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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