Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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