How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
