Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
