peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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