at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
