Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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