We won't sleep together?
home. puking in laundry basket.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
