If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
