phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
