Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
